About 'Voices of Strength'

Words can barely express what working on 'Voices of Strength' has done for me. I never imagined that I would have the courage to put together an audio documentary until I saw that so many others would support the idea and join me on this journey. I was scared at first, I was not as motivated to do this as some may believe; yet there was this inner voice within me that said "keep going." I have heard those words before in my past. It was the very inner voice that gave me this outer voice, the voice to speak out again and to never lose sight of my dream to help other survivors around the world.

This is not the first time I have ventured out on this journey. On the anniversary of my rape, October 28th, 2004 I asked 16 women to join me in an audio documentary called 'Surviving The Truth' which I represented for about a year and a half until it was time to say goodbye to it and begin again. Due to personal and legal reasons some of the members decided not to be on the CD any longer and we had to let our project go. But I began again with a new light on life and a new beginning. One of my philosophies on life is that it's never too late for a new beginning, and that is what  these beautiful survivors have done for the world, we have started a new beginning full of prosperity because that is what being a thriver is all about. Dusting yourself off and getting back up again.

The dream behind 'Voices of Strength' is a simple one. We all have a voice, and we all deserve the right to use it to help shift a world that is still clouded in fear and turmoil.

From the age of 4 until I turned 20 years old I had suffered from various acts of abuse from either friends, strangers or family members. That was what I thought life was all about. I had given up at one point in my life. I refused to think that life came with happiness, prosperity, or hope. I didn't believe in a life that was peaceful. I didn't believe in inner growth, I didn't believe in therapy, self healing, validation or self worth. I was at my lowest and I encompassed a world of self harm, self criticism, and self loathing because that was what I felt the most of the time. Though at the age of 19 I tried to shift my life around and use my experience to gain some kind of positivety in my life by reaching out to other survivors, I was still very new to it and I knew I was still unstable. It took many years before I began to be the woman that I am today.

I've had many ups and downs. The recovery process was like a bandage that I was constantly ripping off. Sometimes the inner wounds would build up and fester again if I wasn't taking care of myself, and then I had to put another mental bandage on and keep ripping it off slowly. Until finally the wounds were gone and I was reborn again.

"You save yourself or you remain unsaved."

-Alice Sebold

I truly had to open up to the process of healing. I had to learn to trust the process and every step that came with it. Steps are not easy to overcome, but they are natural.

Doing 'Voices of Strength' was a way for me to piece myself back together again, after every struggle, after every fall. I had to tell myself 'okay, I've done this many times, is there room for another new beginning?' Then this inner voice told me to keep going and I listened. She said I had a purpose in life. She said I needed to tell my story, even if only a piece of my story for those to learn from. She said I couldn't do this alone and that if I was going to do this right I had to invite others to take that leap of faith with me. Though it was my second time around, I still deserved the right to speak out, and use my voice as a vessel to help inspire others who are like me.

By choosing to invite others along with me on this journey, this was my way of letting the world know that every story is unique and deserves to be heard. That being a survivor is just as diverse and unique as the human culture is. It's my symbolism that we are not alone and we don't have to make this journey alone.

'Voices of Strength' gave me back my voice. Your healing will also give you back your voice. You don't have to stay silent any longer. You are not alone, and you will never have to fear that loneliness again. We are here, we are listening, we are all united.

Love & Support,

Read Haullie's Survivor Story