Respecting Boundaries

Boundaries must be respected and upheld. I myself have had my boundaries crossed and yes, I have crossed over boundaries as well many times. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes. What is important to know is that you can take back your life and be a better person than you were before. Also, you can learn how to establish your own personal boundaries and own them.

Part of establishing relationships and creating positive interactions with others involves establishing your boundaries and respecting those of other people.

Be assertive in setting boundaries. Remember you come first.

There are 4 different types of common boundaries. Physical, Sexual, Emotional and Spiritual.

Physical Boundaries:

You have the right to feel uncomfortable. You determine when, where, how and who is going to touch you. You also have every right to determine how close someone is going to be to you. Physical boundaries vary depending on your relationships with others, oftentimes you will feel physically more comfortable around one person than you will another. The physical boundaries we feel towards unfamiliar people may tend to be about 4 feet or more. That is allowed!

Sexual Boundaries:

You have the right to determine whom, when, where, what and how you are going to be sexual with someone. Sexual assault and sexual abuse occurs when the boundary lines have been violated for someone unwilling, uninterested or unable to consent to intercourse.

Emotional Boundaries:

What you think, feel, do, or don't do is more about you than it is about the other person. Emotional boundaries start by how much you choose to allow others into your world, how open you want to be and how much you feel like sharing about yourself as well as how much of your personal feelings you allow others to see.

Spiritual Boundaries:

You have the right to believe what you want to believe and others have the right to believe what they want to believe.

Allowing others to access ourselves within our boundaries is a huge gesture of trust and intimacy. Those boundaries may only be accessed through permission, with respect. If boundaries are crossed un-respectfully, one may construct a mental wall around themselves blocking out all contact or avoiding that person all together. This wall makes us feel protected, though it is not necessarily the healthiest thing to do, our body can't tell the difference until it's too late. We're all born with the tools and the knowledge on building up a wall between ourselves and the rest of the world.

Damaged boundaries have severe consequences. They are usually a result of miscommunication or mixed messages as well as abuse. Setting no personal boundaries causes individuals such as these to put themselves in situations where they are vulnerable to others and my cross other persons boundaries without hesitation.