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What is a
Flashback?
Memories
of past sexual violence which can be experienced in the present
in the form of nightmares, physical sensations, sounds, smells
and feelings. Flashbacks are a normal response to past sexual
violence but can often feel very overwhelming, because it feels
as if you are re-experiencing the violence. Flashbacks are
usually experienced after a trigger but can also come from
nowhere.
What
Helps
Source:
'Flashbacks' By: Laurieann Chutis,
A.C.S.W.
The 'What
Helps' Information below is gathered from a very credible source
written by
Laurieann Chutis.
I decided to put this here because it speaks to every Survivor
including myself. Please click on the link above for more
information.
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"Tell
yourself that you are having a flashback."
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"Remind
yourself that the worst is over. The feelings and sensations
you are experiencing are memories of the past. The actual
event took place long ago when you were [younger] and you
survived. Now it is time to let out that terror, rage, hurt
and/or panic. Now is the time to honor your
experience."
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"Get
grounded. This means stamping your feet on the ground so that
the little one knows you have feet and can get away if you
need to. ([If the trauma occurred as a child]. . . you
couldn't get away: Now you can.}"
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"Breathe.
When we get scared we stop normal breathing. As a result, our
body begins to panic from the lack of oxygen. Lack of oxygen
in itself causes a great deal of panic feelings: pounding in
the head, tightness, sweating, feeling faint, shakiness,
dizziness. When we breathe deeply enough, a lot of the panic
feeling can decrease. Breathing deeply means putting your hand
on your diaphragm and breathing deeply enough so that your
diaphragm pushes against your hand and then exhaling so that
the diaphragm goes in."
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"Reorient to
the present. Begin to use your five senses in the present.
Look around and see the colors in the room, the shapes of
things, the people near, etc. Listen to the sounds [around
you]: your breathing, traffic, birds, people, cars, etc. Feel
your body and what is touching it: your clothes, your own arms
and hands, the chair or floor supporting you."
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"Speak to
the little one and reassure him/her. It is very healing to get
your adult in the now, that you can get out if you need to,
that it is OK to feel the feelings of long ago without
reprisal. The child needs to know that it is safe to
experience the feelings/sensations and let go of the past."
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"Get in
touch with your needs for boundaries. Sometimes when we are
having a flashback we lose the sense of where we leave off and
the world begins; as if we do not have skin. Wrap yourself in
a blanket, hold a pillow or stuffed animal, go to bed, sit in
a closet... any way that you can feel yourself truly protected
from the outside."
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"Get
support. Depending on your situation, you may need to be alone
or may want someone near you. In either case, it is important
that your close ones know about flashbacks so they can help
with the process, whether that means letting you be by
yourself or being there."
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"Take time
to recover. Sometimes flashbacks are very powerful. Give
yourself the time to make the transition from this powerful
experience. Don't expect yourself to jump into adult
activities right away. Take a nap, or a warm bath, or some
quiet time. Do not beat yourself up for having a flashback.
Appreciate how much your little one went through. . . ."
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"Honor your
experience. Appreciate yourself for having survived that
horrible time [when you were younger]. Respect your body's
need to experience those feelings of long ago."
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"Be patient.
It takes time to heal the past. It takes time to learn
appropriate ways of taking care of self., of being an adult
who has feelings, and developing effective ways of coping in
the here and now."
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"Find a
competent therapist. Look for a therapist who understands the
processes of healing from [trauma: incest, rape, war.] A
therapist can be a guide, a support, a coach in this healing
process. You do not have to do it alone . . . ever again."
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"Join a
self-help group. Survivors are wonderful allies in this
process of healing. It is a healing thing to share your
process with others who understand so deeply what you are
going through."
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"Know you
are not crazy . . . you are healing!"
-
Laurieann Chutis
Aftermath of a Flashback
The aftermath of a flashback
should be taken care of just as well as the flashback itself. Or
the avoidance of a flashback by avoiding possible surrounding
triggers. In the Aftermath of a trigger it's best to:
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Find a safe place to relax,
practice some personal breathing exercises.
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Focus on a Happy memory.
Thinking of something positive will ultimately break through
the barrier of anything negative so think, two positives
against your one negative if you can.
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Play a song that is close to
your heart but that does not trigger another flashback,
something that will bring you back into your own life focus.
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Have a glass of water of
something to eat, we aren't suggesting that eating is a way of
calming one's urges and fears but that food is settling on the
stomach and so is water which is something all humans need to
survive. Flashbacks cause extreme nausea, headaches, anxiety
and fatigue in almost 70% of anyone who has them intensely so
having a bite to eat will help you in the long run. Especially
if it's something nutritious and rewarding in that sense.
Make sure that if after
a flashback, if you are having thoughts of either
Suicide
or
self-harm
that you get help right away by either calling
RAINN
at
1.800.656.HOPE
or your local Rape Crisis Center. We understand the
magnitude of Self-harm, it is a cry for help but some of us are
silent and that isn't a cry for help, we must count on ourselves
to save our own lives. It's important that you keep some
numbers handy by your side just incase you need someone to
talk to and help you through this. because waking up from a
flashback can sometimes be like waking up from the real thing
and we know that all too well.
Combating
Nightmares
"I think that the
nightmares are telling me things about myself that I need to
know. And I try to understand what they mean, so I can get to
know something more about my soul."
-Tori Amos
A
Nightmare... It's
one of the most horrifying experiences to have to wake up to a
cold sweat, headache, fear and chills. Your heart is racing like
that of an engine and you suddenly realize you have had a
nightmare. Whether it be of the attack itself or of a memory, or
even of something you cannot put your finger on. No matter the
dream the trauma of the happening is the fear. The one other
puzzling thing about nightmares is that we virtually have no
control over them. We have yet to touch base with the reason why
we dream and why we need to dream but we do understand that we
need it just as we need our emotions. Dreams help us find
ourselves. There are many meanings behind dreams and many
theories behind them as well.
As survivors we need to basically structure our emotions around
nightmares not our nightmares around our emotions. It is very
important to know exactly what you need to do in case you have
just had a nightmare. Ways to calm your body. In some cases,
people have woken up with such fear and cold sweat that there
have been many accounts of heart attacks in the aftermath of a
nightmare which is why it is extremely important that you not
only prepare for the after effects of a nightmare but before you
go to sleep as well. Below you will find a before and after
sequence of tips I have suggested to choose from in order to
both avoid a nightmare and if in case you do have a nightmare
you can calm yourself and help to reduce the fear of waking up.
Preventing a Nightmare
Obviously we can't prevent a
nightmare, we can't stop one all together we can only speculate
that by certain things we do to establish better sleeping
patterns at night we will awake more refreshed in the morning
time and less stressed at night which by our standards very well
due to the amount of fear any particular Survivor is induced
into during sleep can then portray in their dreams causing
nightmares to occur. It's simply out of our control all
together. But some dream studies have been shown that we do have
the power to control our stress levels before we reach our REM
sleep. Thus decreasing the amount of negative dream input our
brains give to us in the middle of the night because in all
essence when we sleep everything shuts off, our ability to
focus, concentrate, reason. We've lost it, that's why the world
is so chaotic when we dream. That is what dream researchers are
still trying to figure out. For now we can only leave you with a
few suggestions on how you can help motivate better sleeping
patterns. So you can avoid a nightmare or a re-occurring
nightmare.
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Wear
comfortable clothing. Also staying cool at night can help keep
you comfortable.
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Do not
drink caffeine before bed time, this will help your mind to
relax and control thought process.
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Do not
watch triggering media events or television which contains
rape or any violence which may trigger memories or thoughts.
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Make
sure you are familiar with the smells of your room, sometimes
triggering smells can cause nightmares to manifest.
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Sleep
the a crack in the door and the hallway light on. It is better
to wake up to a small light rather than complete darkness.
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Read
an inspirational passage or quote, positive thoughts before
bed time should help you awake feeling comforted.
Aftermath of a Nightmare
Drink a glass of water, make sure you are hydrated and
refreshed.
Take a hot shower to help you relax. I say shower instead of a
bath because you do not want to fall asleep in the tub on
accident.
Take slow deep breaths in through your nose and out through your
mouth every ten seconds each.
Call a friend or supportive family member, sometimes a soothing
comforting voice is just what you need to help you get back to
sleep well. |
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