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What is a Flashback?

Memories of past sexual violence which can be experienced in the present in the form of nightmares, physical sensations, sounds, smells and feelings. Flashbacks are a normal response to past sexual violence but can often feel very overwhelming, because it feels as if you are re-experiencing the violence. Flashbacks are usually experienced after a trigger but can also come from nowhere.
 


 

What Helps

Source: 'Flashbacks' By: Laurieann Chutis, A.C.S.W.

The 'What Helps' Information below is gathered from a very credible source written by Laurieann Chutis. I decided to put this here because it speaks to every Survivor including myself. Please click on the link above for more information.

  • "Tell yourself that you are having a flashback."

  • "Remind yourself that the worst is over. The feelings and sensations you are experiencing are memories of the past. The actual event took place long ago when you were [younger] and you survived. Now it is time to let out that terror, rage, hurt and/or panic. Now is the time to honor your experience."

  • "Get grounded. This means stamping your feet on the ground so that the little one knows you have feet and can get away if you need to. ([If the trauma occurred as a child]. . . you couldn't get away: Now you can.}"

  • "Breathe. When we get scared we stop normal breathing. As a result, our body begins to panic from the lack of oxygen. Lack of oxygen in itself causes a great deal of panic feelings: pounding in the head, tightness, sweating, feeling faint, shakiness, dizziness. When we breathe deeply enough, a lot of the panic feeling can decrease. Breathing deeply means putting your hand on your diaphragm and breathing deeply enough so that your diaphragm pushes against your hand and then exhaling so that the diaphragm goes in."

  • "Reorient to the present. Begin to use your five senses in the present. Look around and see the colors in the room, the shapes of things, the people near, etc. Listen to the sounds [around you]: your breathing, traffic, birds, people, cars, etc. Feel your body and what is touching it: your clothes, your own arms and hands, the chair or floor supporting you."

  • "Speak to the little one and reassure him/her. It is very healing to get your adult in the now, that you can get out if you need to, that it is OK to feel the feelings of long ago without reprisal. The child needs to know that it is safe to experience the feelings/sensations and let go of the past."

  • "Get in touch with your needs for boundaries. Sometimes when we are having a flashback we lose the sense of where we leave off and the world begins; as if we do not have skin. Wrap yourself in a blanket, hold a pillow or stuffed animal, go to bed, sit in a closet... any way that you can feel yourself truly protected from the outside."

  • "Get support. Depending on your situation, you may need to be alone or may want someone near you. In either case, it is important that your close ones know about flashbacks so they can help with the process, whether that means letting you be by yourself or being there."

  • "Take time to recover. Sometimes flashbacks are very powerful. Give yourself the time to make the transition from this powerful experience. Don't expect yourself to jump into adult activities right away. Take a nap, or a warm bath, or some quiet time. Do not beat yourself up for having a flashback. Appreciate  how much your little one went through. . . ."

  • "Honor your experience. Appreciate yourself for having survived that horrible time [when you were younger]. Respect your body's need to experience those feelings of long ago."

  • "Be patient. It takes time to heal the past. It takes time to learn appropriate ways of taking care of self., of being an adult who has feelings, and developing effective ways of coping in the here and now."

  • "Find a competent therapist. Look for a therapist who understands the processes of healing from [trauma: incest, rape, war.] A therapist can be a guide, a support, a coach in this healing process. You do not have to do it alone . . . ever again."

  • "Join a self-help group. Survivors are wonderful allies in this process of healing. It is a healing thing to share your process with others who understand so deeply what you are going through."

  • "Know you are not crazy . . . you are healing!"

- Laurieann Chutis


 

Aftermath of a Flashback

 

The aftermath of a flashback should be taken care of just as well as the flashback itself. Or the avoidance of a flashback by avoiding possible surrounding triggers. In the Aftermath of a trigger it's best to:

  • Find a safe place to relax, practice some personal breathing exercises.

  • Focus on a Happy memory. Thinking of something positive will ultimately break through the barrier of anything negative so think, two positives against your one negative if you can.

  • Play a song that is close to your heart but that does not trigger another flashback, something that will bring you back into your own life focus.

  • Have a glass of water of something to eat, we aren't suggesting that eating is a way of calming one's urges and fears but that food is settling on the stomach and so is water which is something all humans need to survive. Flashbacks cause extreme nausea, headaches, anxiety and fatigue in almost 70% of anyone who has them intensely so having a bite to eat will help you in the long run. Especially if it's something nutritious and rewarding in that sense.

Make sure that if after a flashback, if you are having thoughts of either Suicide or self-harm that you get help right away by either calling RAINN at 1.800.656.HOPE or your local Rape Crisis Center. We understand the magnitude of Self-harm, it is a cry for help but some of us are silent and that isn't a cry for help, we must count on ourselves to save our own lives. It's important that you keep some numbers handy by your side just incase you need someone to talk to and help you through this. because waking up from a flashback can sometimes be like waking up from the real thing and we know that all too well.

 


 

Combating Nightmares

  

"I think that the nightmares are telling me things about myself that I need to know. And I try to understand what they mean, so I can get to know something more about my soul." -Tori Amos

 

A Nightmare... It's one of the most horrifying experiences to have to wake up to a cold sweat, headache, fear and chills. Your heart is racing like that of an engine and you suddenly realize you have had a nightmare. Whether it be of the attack itself or of a memory, or even of something you cannot put your finger on. No matter the dream the trauma of the happening is the fear. The one other puzzling thing about nightmares is that we virtually have no control over them. We have yet to touch base with the reason why we dream and why we need to dream but we do understand that we need it just as we need our emotions. Dreams help us find ourselves. There are many meanings behind dreams and many theories behind them as well.

As survivors we need to basically structure our emotions around nightmares not our nightmares around our emotions. It is very important to know exactly what you need to do in case you have just had a nightmare. Ways to calm your body. In some cases, people have woken up with such fear and cold sweat that there have been many accounts of heart attacks in the aftermath of a nightmare which is why it is extremely important that you not only prepare for the after effects of a nightmare but before you go to sleep as well. Below you will find a before and after sequence of tips I have suggested to choose from in order to both avoid a nightmare and if in case you do have a nightmare you can calm yourself and help to reduce the fear of waking up.

Preventing a Nightmare

 

Obviously we can't prevent a nightmare, we can't stop one all together we can only speculate that by certain things we do to establish better sleeping patterns at night we will awake more refreshed in the morning time and less stressed at night which by our standards very well due to the amount of fear any particular Survivor is induced into during sleep can then portray in their dreams causing nightmares to occur. It's simply out of our control all together. But some dream studies have been shown that we do have the power to control our stress levels before we reach our REM sleep. Thus decreasing the amount of negative dream input our brains give to us in the middle of the night because in all essence when we sleep everything shuts off, our ability to focus, concentrate, reason. We've lost it, that's why the world is so chaotic when we dream. That is what dream researchers are still trying to figure out. For now we can only leave you with a few suggestions on how you can help motivate better sleeping patterns. So you can avoid a nightmare or a re-occurring nightmare.

  1. Wear comfortable clothing. Also staying cool at night can help keep you comfortable.
     

  2. Do not drink caffeine before bed time, this will help your mind to relax and control thought process.
     

  3. Do not watch triggering media events or television which contains rape or any violence which may trigger memories or thoughts.
     

  4. Make sure you are familiar with the smells of your room, sometimes triggering smells can cause nightmares to manifest.
     

  5. Sleep the a crack in the door and the hallway light on. It is better to wake up to a small light rather than complete darkness.
     

  6. Read an inspirational passage or quote, positive thoughts before bed time should help you awake feeling comforted.


Aftermath of a Nightmare

Drink a glass of water, make sure you are hydrated and refreshed.

Take a hot shower to help you relax. I say shower instead of a bath because you do not want to fall asleep in the tub on accident.

Take slow deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth every ten seconds each.

Call a friend or supportive family member, sometimes a soothing comforting voice is just what you need to help you get back to sleep well.

 

 

 

Speak from the soul, for the VOICE has no boundaries. Listen to the VOICE inside of you, what important lessons are you recieving? Learn to heal through awareness. You VOICE is your biggest savior. Believe in the power of your VOICE, like a blueprint, there is no other like it. Healing the soul, embracing our inner VOICE, learning to live! When we thrive, our VOICE changes with the years through personal healing and ascension.

 

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