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Male Sexual
Abuse
Facts about Men and Rape
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Men get raped by other men
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Rapists who rape men are
heterosexual in 98% of the cases
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Both homosexual and
heterosexual men get raped
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In all parts of society (not
just in prisons)
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Men are less likely to
report rape
We
have grown up for the most part believing that only women are
the victims of the sexual crime of rape. Basically any form of
sexual abuse. Most of us are taught that grown men do not get
raped and young boys are the only "Maybe" in our society. If
this is you let me be the one to tell you how wrong you've been
taught. If you've journeyed this far knowing as a Survivor of
sexual abuse let me first off say "Thanks!" I say Thanks because
it takes courage to find help anywhere you can these days and in
this society information about male sexual abuse is oftentimes
very rare. Most men do not know where to go, who to turn for to
get help. Let's be realistic here. How often do you see a
shelter for battered men? Or a rape crisis center that devoted a
wing to the Male issues? We have plenty of places for women to
turn to, but isn't that obvious? We have been taught to fear
only men. What about women? Are women unable to be feared? Are
Fathers unable to take advantage of boys in their sleep? The
truth resides in the heart of any male Survivor touched by this
sexual crime. If you came here thinking only women could be
raped you are only furthering the isolation of men and we hope
we can shed some light on the issue for you to better
comprehend.
Men go
through almost identical issues as women do. With subtle changes
due to their manhood as women have towards their feminism.
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Feelings Of Guilt
-
powerless
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concern regarding
their safety
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denial
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shock
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anger
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Depression
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Anxiety
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The issues which
differ for the Males are:
-
concerns about
sexuality and/or masculinity
-
medical procedures
-
reporting to law
enforcement
-
telling others
-
finding resources
and support
Some
Difficulties Facing Society:
Unfortunately Law enforcement officials have a hard time
"Believing" or even proving for that matter cases where men have
been sexually assaulted. It is even harder for homosexual males
in their teens. And the hardest is on the children. Not many
male children (1 out of 7) make it out of the tragedy of sexual
abuse.
Not many Doctors or Nurses know how to deal with the situation
of male rape. Where do we go from here? Do we fade away? This is
not possible. Reason being, if we can help one we can help many.
Sometimes Men are stereotyped and treated unfairly by many
people who they ask for help due to masculinity issues. Which
can leave the scar a little more painful than it was from the
beginning. This closes of the male's sense to become close t
anyone who he thought could help in the beginning thus we go
into denial and denial causes depression in stages forming
anxiety and long term effects, even mental illness issues. We
oftentimes call this pent up anger. Sooner or later that anger
will snap like a rod in a block of ice. All it takes is time.
Do Men
Cry?
I have been asked that a lot of times by so many people. You
know the only answer I can tell them is "Did God not make
everyone with the gift of emotion?" Emotion is a powerful tool
and I say "Gift" because that is exactly what emotion is. It is
a gift. Without emotion we would all have pent up nothingness.
We couldn't feel and we would all be vulnerable for the next
pain to arrive and the next and so on. Emotion helps us deal
with depression, crying helps us maintain out stress. Do men
cry? Well, of coarse they do. Some hold in the tears when you do
not realize it. But do not believe they do not when you are not
looking. Some cry more often than others and some are able to
show their emotions. It's all a matter of healing. We all heal
differently and it is factual that men do not show emotions
quite like women but I'll bet you my life they do feel the same
effects emotionally as we do inside with a harder outer shell.
"Only
Gay Men Are Raped!"
There is only one response to this one I've heard about 10
times in my life. I'll tell you a little secret. 75% of the men
I have talked to in my experience of doing this web site were
indeed NOT homosexual men. The other 25% were hesitant on
telling me they were homosexual in the first place. So here is
another plain Myth about male rape I'd like you to pay attention
to. Numbers do not lie. yes homosexual males are raped, that is
not disclosing the truth but not ONLY homosexual males are
raped. In fact it is more common for Heterosexual males to be
the victims of rape than it is for Homosexual males to become
the victims of rape statistically. Especially if you factor in
Child Abuse which is the most common and sadly un-told form of
Sexual Abuse among Males.

What Can I Do Now?
and recognize that both men,
boys and homosexual males can be raped and will.
Be aware
of the myths surrounding male
sexual abuse.
Recognize
that the harmful sex-role
stereotypes which create narrow definitions of masculinity, as
well as lies about homosexuality, make it difficult for male
survivors to disclose about being raped.
As individuals
and as a community we must work
to combat and challenge these attitudes.
It is important
that male rape survivors have
support around them and that they be able to make their own
decisions about what course of action to take.
It's extremely important
for all men to realize the
statistics surrounding their own sexual abuse. Even though the
statistics have shown a decrease in rape against men it does
not excuse the fact that this happens every day. This does not
mean that in ten years we will have eliminated our planet from
male rape issues. How often do you see gas prices change?
Think of our society as one large fuel economy and see how
rapid we change in our future. Hopeful for the best for
coarse. Hopeful for better punishment and better forms of
speaking out for all men.
Prevention:
If a male says "No" be respectful to that individual for the
body is not your tool for pleasure or control, it is a sanctuary
for the person who holds it dear to them.
Recognize the body movements of the other person. You should be
able to tell if someone is uncomfortable simply by their actions
even if they do not say a word out of fear that you will find
them Un-Masculine and shy.
Communicate clearly about how you both feel and about what you
want.
Confront men or women who are harassing the opposite sex on the
streets, at parties, in the media, make your voice known, let
yourself be heard.
Thank you for reading this
passage and I hope it sheds some light on this fragile situation
of the heart. I hope you came here today as a
Survivor, even better as a supporter un-knowing of the knowledge
and facts and have finally learned something along the way.
Let us speak out!
Love & Support,
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