Self Harm

This is such a sensitive issue to my soul for I too am someone who self-harms. I haven't done this in several years. And the goal as a Survivor is to get through these tribulations in your Aftermath to be a better person, to heal better as an individual and get through the pain, not to cause more pain. So why do we do this? Why are we on a mission to stop this self-harm? Self-harm has been deemed a big cry for help by many people around the world. It is in a way, but in another way self-harm is a cry to ourselves. For most of us never show our scars, so what kind of a cry for help is that? This is a bigger issue than most people think that is why it is so important to know the facts about Self-Harm so that you can know what to do if you or a loved one are suffering and need help finding better ways of coping in the Aftermath process of Sexual Abuse. Because in all reality getting help could very well save your life.

What Is Self Harm?

Self harm is any form of physical abuse someone does deliberately to themselves to inflict pain whether it causes wounds or not. Some forms of self harm include:

• Cutting, Burning, Scratching or Scraping. These are the most common forms of self harm.

• Hair pulling or plucking out eye lashes or brows.

• Throwing their bodies against something.

• Hitting themselves with fist or objects.

• Taking overdose amounts of medical drugs.

• Inserting objects into their bodies.

• Inhaling or sniffing harmful substances.

Why do people Self-Harm?

People oftentimes self-harm as a way of dealing with situations and events throughout their lives. "A way to mask the violence."  "A way to feel something again."  "A way to release the pain."  These are all prime examples of thoughts given to me by other Survivors who've tried to explain to me the reasons why they self-harm. The truth is we really don't know why we do it. We just know that we want NOT to do it. Every time we do this we see the scars in the Aftermath and we know we need to make some inner changes in order to make those outer changes.

But you can't start to make those outer changes without the person inside of you first. That person has to have the will power to say stop it, because it will not control you. Now every time I think of taking a needle to my arms I think of it as being the hand of my Step-Father, do I deserve that? I do not. But it is a Healthier way for me to associate the fact that what I'm doing is not something that I deserve you see. It's being brought on by him no matter who holds the weapon of choice, no matter how I picture this in my head. And keeping his hand from making that incision is what keeps me stronger again from causing self-harm. And I think anybody can really do that as a way of coping. To find your own ways of saying to yourself 'I don't deserve this anymore, I never did.'

Can I let go?

Of course you can, just because you have a few scars now doesn't mean scars will fade and medical technology won't get any better enough to help you if need be, besides if you think about it this way those could very well be your own personal battle scars. Stopping yourself from Self-Harm is the best thing you can do for your life right now, it's going to save your life. It's going to propel you into a future like you never dreamed. I haven't felt better since I stopped, you can too. Now I believe self-harm is just like alcoholism, once a self-harmer always a self-harmer unfortunately the urge can always come back. But the fact that we live in a world today that has support groups for this amazes me. The fact that I can go now to a message center and find friends who need help and give help is something you could not acquire 10 years ago. Please use these resources you see all over the place for help. They aren't reaching out to help save your life for nothing, you too have to take that great leap. You have to say 'I don't deserve this, I never did!'. You CAN let go. Your scars can heal, you can change, you can teach others that they can heal from this as well. You can even teach others that it's not fair to blame yourself because in the Healing stages of the Aftermath we all heal differently.

Reasons NOT to Self-Harm

• Because you're somebody!

• Because you're a beautiful person inside and out.

• Because you didn't deserve what happened to you.

• Because you do not want the scars to last forever as a reminder of your past.

• because self-harm doesn't heal the pain it only delays it.

• Because by quitting you are mending another important stage in your Healing Process.

• Because you are already hurting enough as it is.

• Because it may hurt your loved ones as well.

• Because you do not deserve to feel guilty any longer.

• Because your life is worth everything.

Self-Harm Alternatives

There are a few alternatives to Self-Harm that you can do so that you are not hurting yourself. This is something crucial I had to ad here for everybody because most of us feel so lost most of the time, what do we do now when we want to stop the most? You would be amazed at the simplest things you could do that you won't think of doing when it comes down to the battle between you and self-harm.

• Get rid of anything that can cause Self-Harm immediately!

• Go for a walk

• Read a book

• Clean your room or house

• Go for a drive

• Hold ice in your hands

• Watch a funny movie

• Call a friend or loved one

• Take a relaxing bubble bath

• Talk to your therapist

• Write in your journal

• Paint, Sing or do one of the many hobbies you may have

• Wear a rubber band around your wrist and when you want to Self-Harm snap it gently as a warning not to.

• Try Breathing Exercises